Things My Children Should Know By Now

• Right after I put the last dish into the dishwasher is the WRONG time to ask for a snack
• "Those aren't my socks!" is the wrong thing to say to the woman who sorts your laundry every day and is, therefore, an expert on the identity of sock owners
• Yes, you have to eat that.
• If you empty the dishwashers while I'm on my run, I might be less annoyed by you getting up earlier than you should. If you empty dirty dishwashers while I'm on my run, I will be extra annoyed that you got up earlier than you should.
• Arguing with me will get you into more trouble than you started out in. Period.
• I am always right. Even if I might happen to be wrong, I am still right.
• Pushing everything from the center of the room to the edges of the walls does not count as cleaning your room.
• Ignore me and I will NOT go away.
• Those who turn their shirts and pants right-side-out before putting them into the hamper get extra credit.
• If you can't hear me, come into the other room. Don't continue yelling "what? WHAT? WHAT?????" louder and louder and louder.
• No, you can't start a movie at ten o'clock. Why are you even still up?
• I love you no matter what. And I always will.